would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
