She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
