I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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