4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
the night ended with taco bell and tears
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just pee around me
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
