We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
