i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
