3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
