I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize