so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
