I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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