I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
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My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
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Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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