Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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