Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i want to swaddle you in tequila
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
