my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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