Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
