bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
