He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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