Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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