Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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