And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize