Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
