I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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