and you said cock pushups were impossible
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
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was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
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I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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