Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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