is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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