you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
