"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
