Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
