Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
