Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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