So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
