Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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