my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm too high and old for this...
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