i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
