The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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