Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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