Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
