isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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