The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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