Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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