let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
