my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
