Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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