I need help removing her.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize
