Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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