He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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