I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
