he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
