what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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