butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize