The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize