Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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