You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize