I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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