I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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