Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
