honey bunches of taint.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
