He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just want nice things and good sex
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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