So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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