Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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