Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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