Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize