took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
