how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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