Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
