when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize